I Don't Know What I'm Doing
It's true, I don't know what I'm doing. In anything. (I'm also not sure where this post is going, I have a feeling it might get a little rambly so let's see!) When you're younger you think adults have it all mapped out and know what they're doing all the time. Ugh, I so wish that was true. Sometimes things end up all becoming a little overwhelming and life just seems to get that little bit trickier to navigate. I am the eternal fence sitter, neither deciding on one thing or the other which probably doesn't help with the whole knowing what you're doing thing. I'm not really a career driven person. I like my job and I enjoy working in the Museum sector, but do I want to do this for the rest of my life? I have no idea, but probably not. Life is a long time to be doing all the same types of things. But then when you think about the idea of changing lanes there are so many roadblocks (oh hello completely original driving analogy!). You don't have the right degree, you don't have the right type of experience that people look for (don't get me started on the idea of 'transferable skills') or you just have no idea what other opportunities there are out there or where to start. It can be so confusing. Actors always talk about not wanting to get typecast, but I feel you get that in any job. In Museums if you work in education good luck getting a job in marketing or whatever, people want to keep you in your box as that's what they know and that's what they think you know.
There's that typical job interview question, "where do you see yourself in 5 years time?" I hate those type of questions as I literally have no idea. The only thing I ever really think of is that I just hope I'm happy. I'm not driven by wanting to become the head of a department or achieving whatever next career goal I should be looking for. I've worked hard to get to where I am and yes, I want a fulfilling work life and I'm happy to work hard, and I do enjoy getting new projects and stuff, but it's not my everything. But then at times I get all conflicted and think maybe it would be nice to smash loads of work related goals and be all career driven and the next Lord Sugar. In reality though it's just not me. Work is not my life motivator.
At the end of the day I think I just want to be challenged and kept busy so I don't get bored or lazy. We can't all be CEOs or that awesome photographer in National Geographic, and I'm ok with that. I'll be happy as long as I get to try new things, and if those new things fail or aren't as successful as I might hope, it's ok because at least I will have tried and sometimes that's all that matters.
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