Twenty-Eight

You probably know by now that October is my birthday month, so of course I figured it was the most appropriate time for a little reflection and forward thinking.

Twenty-seven has been an interesting year; it’s been one where I’ve spent most of it feeling content and the happiest I have been in years, helped of course by the addition of a little cat to our family. However, it’s also been a crappy year with various health issues- both with myself and family- and the inconceivable event of the loss of a close friend. It’s the year that has thrown the realities of our own mortality in my face, which was something I knew but had never really contemplated before. I knew but didn’t know.

I started 27 having handed in my notice at a job that was quickly crushing me and stomping all over my mental health, and started a new one that I love. I’m not in the career or sector I thought I would be, but it turns out it’s the one I’d been looking for all this time. I’ve been incredibly lucky to have ended up in a place that I don’t dread going to and is full of the loveliest people. It showed me that taking that leap of faith can really pay off sometimes, and that things never work out how you imagine. I know things can quickly change, so I’m appreciating this fact as much as possible right now.

This was also the year that R and I started building a proper home together, something which created a level of stability and ownership of something that is truly ours.

I’m not sure what 28 will be like, but I’m hoping this general contentment will continue for much of it. I think that’s as much as you can ask for most years. Although, I’m not sure how it will all fare once March rolls around, which it will do all too quickly. I have my fingers firmly crossed that we all wake up from this political stupidity sooner rather than later.

Despite being one year closer to 30 I’m not filled with dread, I don’t really feel different, just more settled in myself. I’m grateful for all the lovely things I have going on in my life, for my family and the lovely people around me, and appreciate even more how quickly things can change or fall apart. My late twenties is teaching me that I don’t have control over so many things, but that’s ok, there are no rules that say you can’t start again. I’m slowly learning to be kinder and more accepting of myself; I still have my insecurities and sensitivities, but I’m getting better at handling them.

I know there will be difficulties and hard times in the future, which is why I want to continue to document all of those good things that do happen. As I get older these good things may come more in the form of a great chocolate cake instead of spontaneous events and plans (although I’ve always been a bit of a grandma and who can deny the healing power of cake?) and that is just fine with me.

~~~

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Life, MusingsAmy Eleanorlife, musings